Top 5 Questions I was asking myself this morning

5. What is that horrible black mess on my trousers and how did it get there and will it wash out and is it poo oh God I hope it's not poo?

4. How many vodkas?

3. Why do only men ever try to chat me up?

2. Isn't it brilliant that, no matter how much I drink, Morgan always drinks more; no matter how much I spend, he always spends more and no mater how hungover I am, he always looks and feels at least 10 times worse than me?

1. WHY DID I EAT A TIN OF CAT FOOD?