A clarification

Just to clear things up, Morgan is an utter, utter bastard. And a massive fluke. 12 games in a row, he's fluked. The luck! Revenge will be mine, though, oh yes it will.

I'm currently stickier than Chris Moyles' armpit, and gearing up for my 4th poo of the day. It's only lunchtime! Happy times, happy times.

Can't be bothered to think of something witty and memorable.

Well, something amazing has just happened. It might have something to do with the heat, something to do with the water going down the plug the wrong way or something to do with the fact that once again we're hung over but all of a sudden I'm brilliant at pool, or rather Sam's been shit. The current score lies at 12-1 with the last frame played resulting in a seven balling followed immediately by so many explitives that Gez Bez would've blushed. Sam is not happy....

So back to what we're actually doing out here, we've been in Brisbane for the past week or so, watching cricket, having a few beers that kind of thing. Shame we were bloody awful though. Been staying with Sams uncle and aunt which was fun as their daughter took it upon herself to try and kill us with alcohol. And as most of you know we've been doing that on our own quite successfully. Moved into the city today and think we're gonna fly to melbourne in a few days as its tooooooo bloody hot up here.
Last night went out on the gold coast and had a few swift bevvies, they really love their rum out here, so I was amazed when there was no captain morgan's to be found. So instead we tryed every other drink behind the bar. I'm in pain.

hope everythings cool at home and any emails will be answered eventually!

Top 5 Differences Between Australia and the UK

5: The queen looks a bit different on the coins out here.
4: Burger King is in fact called "Hungry Jack's"
3: The pigeons are a bit more suntanned.
2: There are no scallies, just hordes of slightly confused looking Koreans.
1: The complete absence of Jade Goodie's fucking face, gawping at you from every news stand, billboard and TV show.

Turns out that indecent exposure is still illegal though. For God's sake.

What goes around comes around.....

Just a very quick minor note that as I've all but shaken off the excesses of the night before, Sam now lies upstairs in a mild alcohol induced coma after deciding that last night he was going to try every type of shooter known to man.
The noises coming from his body aren't natural and if he doesn't at least show signs of life I think i'm calling a doctor.
On a brighter note, think we're off to the beach today, Bondi or manly still haven't decided.
Anyways flying to brisbane on monday night to prepare for the cricket!
I need to learn the words to Jerusalem.

As I write this Morgan is, deservedly, shuddering in his bed nursing quite the hangover. We went on on of those organised bar crawl things last night, and had quite an entertaining evening. We also met possibly the most excellently named man ever, a massive 6'6 American firefighter called Vance. Vance! I mean if I was being pulled from a burning building, I'd be happy to let a guy calld Vance sling me over his shoulder and carry me away. But that's for another time. Anyway, the best part of the night was when Vomiting Beauty upstairs decided to take it upon himself to pull pne of the reps who was with us. A lovely lass, with a beer belly that would put gazza to shame. Good on you, Andy! I spent most of the night talking about football with a very jetlagged guy called Fred, which is of course exactly why I payed $40 to go on a bar crawl.

Right, well, Sydney. It's alright so far. Like any other big city, I suppose. Except for one thing, the ladies. They're everywhere! At least 50% of the poulation, if not more! And presumably there was a law passed at some point in the last few years banning ugly ladies from the streets of Sydney. It's a little disconcerting at first, when every other person looks like they should be modelling for vogue or something (Zoo, at least), but it's more pleasant that a stroll through the centre of Newcastle so what the hell.

The rest of today promises to be terribly exciting, as I'm filing for a tax number and getting my visa stamped! What a life, eh? I'm now off to go and make loud noises and eat extremely smelly food near Andrew.

Good Day!

I hate the moron who came up with time zones.....

Well as I write this I've just spent at least 5 hours trying in vain to get something of a sleep pattern. Needless to say I've failed.
It's 6:15 here and me and Sam are currently pissing about on the internet as nothing appears to be open. Spent yesterday doing the ultimately touristy thing of wandering up to the opera house and the harbour bridge and it has to be said that they truely are awesome and Sydney is quite possibly my favourite place in the world.
In the hostel we're rooming with a couple of interesting people to say the least. A bloke called Dave who seems to be a member of the New Zealand SAS but will never confirm it for us and a lass named Jo who we haven't yet seen in a sober state.
Not sure what we're doing for the rest of the day today (as there is a hell of a lot of it left) but maybe a boat trip round the harbour. Photos will appear soon.
Oh and for those that care, after saying for ages the flight would be easy. It wasn't.
The films were a let down and the food was like something the bomb would've cooked.
And we're only two days in...............................

This should be fun. Oh and for those that saw him on the News, Lee Trundle is the greatest footballer ever. It's science.